Michael

By the time this is read I'll be on my way to the airport.  I haven't been on a BIG trip in 30 years, when I visited Tino's family in Holland and stopped in Germany to visit dear friends.

How times have changed:  I'm no longer in touch with my in-laws; Mary passed away not long after Tino; and Inga has advanced Alzheimers.  Then there was the boat-thing;  battling poverty; and finally the death of BC.  I've written about all this (for therapy), so have included links if you're a recent reader.

My progress has been bittersweet since 2022, but at least I've been feeling much better since last December, when heatache following BC's loss finally receded.  I thought it would never end.

Hoping to rediscover some of the confidence and vitality I felt in my 30's (before my life seemingly fell apart), I began to re-evaluate my focus and decide what truly interests me nowadays; and then tick off any unrelated 'to do' tasks I've placed on myself. 

Remaining a gourd artist because that's what I've done for 20-some years seems a lame reason to continue to chase my former level of accomplishment.  I can't paint like I used to.  It hurts my hands to hold the gourds and the paintbrushes, plus I've lost interest.  Nobody says I have to do something with my stock of bare gourds except me.  

Today I prefer photography.  I've got a terrific mirrorless camera, and I only live a block-and-a-half from a gorgeous shoreline.  Even my writing interests have changed...from focusing on the calamitous cruise on Ruff Life to...something else.

What's helped me most recently has been remembering Mom's encouragement and advice; words which nowadays emit from a TV Preacher.  I know, it's shocking.  Mom had countless witty expressions and anecdotes, but basically she tried to teach patience; keep good thoughts; and have a little faith.  I ignore the opening and closing prayers (and the marketing), but all I can say is his words lift me up because in ny view:

"The hardest thing about living alone is the lack of encouragement."

Mom also said we're never too old to learn, and so I know she'd be happy with my Tortoise-like progress.  And then this happened:

Recently, our park was having electrical work done and the power would be off for up to two days for most, if not all, of the park.  If the stars aligned the work could be completed in a day, but what are the odds?  Residents talked about it for weeks...how long...where in the park exactly...how can I make coffee?

Now you might assume that since we all live in RV's we're used to 'dry camping,' and most of us have done it; but not everyone, myself included, likes it at this age. 

Several people were opting to rent a room somewhere rather than deal with batteries and generators, and at the last minute I decided it was a perfect opportunity to take a road trip, since the weather was gorgeous and tourists haven't yet descended.

I headed south on coastal Highway 101 with no particular destination in mind, my favorite way to travel.  Ever since BC died, road trips have not appealed to me; so, being out of practice, I was curious how I'd fare.  I don't use GPS, Alexa or my cell phone; just keep the ocean on the right and stop when and where I want.

I hoped I'd find a place to stay with an ocean view, and by accident in Port Orford I did.  The desk clerk suggested a local place which served pizza, burgers, salads...said he'd eat there every night if he could.  It was still early so I dropped off my bags and continued down 101 to Gold Beach, as long as I was in the neighborhood.  In the 90's I would drive from Portland down the coast to visit Lee, now also passed; and I wondered if I'd recognize anything.

At the time there were sleepy little towns with modest seaside motels, nothing like today.  Only the Art-Deco bridges, almost 100 years old, and the Curry County Courthouse, where Lee first worked, looked familiar.

Back at Port Orford, I went to the recommended place for dinner.  A huge motorhome towing a car was parked in front.  I walked inside, it was 4:30.

The place was basically a long bar, with simple chairs and tables with plastic tablecloths.  It was kinda dark and empty except for some guy at the bar with his dog carrier, chatting with the woman behind the bar.  She asked if I'd like something to drink, they had wine and beer.

"Any liquor?  Or...wine and beer, ok, I'll have a Heineken."

I stood at the bar reading the menu, determined not to bolt. I looked around and eyed a tiny table for one with a view out the front window.  I normally would gravitate to such a spot - hiding from the rest of the world - but thought that would definitely seem un-friendly considering the place was empty, so I sat my como-se-llama on a barstool and ordered a Pepperoni and Jalepeno pizza.

The fellow at the bar, a little younger than me, I'd guess, was good looking and wore a ten-gallon hat, definitely my type in the old days.  Separated by 4 or 5 barstools, the fellow said something positive about the food; and after a couple silent minutes I said something about his dog.  The conversation was off and running.

For I change I didn't blurt my story from the get-go, but listened to his with an occasional bit of unsolicited advice:  like suggesting he not tell the medical examiner he doesn't trust the sheriff (who fooled with his ex-sister-in-law before his brother committed suicide by shooting hinself twice with a shotgun?) wasn't the best approach.  I can't make this up.

While chit-chatting, I wolfed down my pizza.  'Michael' wouldn't accept a slice, but feeling like a complete cow I gave him no choice and shoved a couple cold slices in front of him.  He reciprocated with a second Heineken, which I'm not used to drinking.

THAT taught me a valuable lesson, for before I was halfway finished, I was having trouble forming my words.  I was a bit wobbly heading for the car, so I stopped at a grocery store to sober up.  A heavy drinker at one time, my tolerance level has significantly lessened, just as well.

I was on Cloud Nine.  I had a great drive; felt totally comfortable being alone; and even had a cowboy flirt a little, tho' I wasn't interested.  But it was nice to find that I still have a little bit of It left.

Which brings me to my trip, an unexpected opportunity put forth by a friend.  I've become cautious of sharing my plans lest I jinx myself, so I'll only say I'm heading for one of the places I've painted on my shoes.  White Keds from Goodwill display a composite of places I've been and still hope to visit.  I'll be away a couple weeks and will post photos when I return, accompanying, I hope, some interesting stories.

So...so long...farewell...auf widersehen...goodbye!  I'm taking BC's memorial necklace so it'll still be Travels with Buttercup, wish me luck!

Horror Paintings

Towards the end of boat-life in Puerto Rico, I began painting gourds 4" and smaller (I enjoy detail work).  Here're my St Patrick's couple aren't they sweet?  For decades I've attempted to create 'realistic' faces -- repainting eyes and noses 4 or 5 times is not uncommon and always frustrating.  Why do I do this to myself?

I'm sure there are some initials associated with whatever's going on inside my head, but all I know is that I am persistent.  I'll work on something over and over, and over again, until I cry enough already!  I'm still not entirely pleased with the end result, but happier than my first attempt.  I'm sure that's true for many, if not all, artists.

Here are some examples:

No idea what I was thinking when I began designing this figure.  I was flat broke, hoping for a miracle to whisk me from my desperate circumstances; when I fell on The Buddha, a two-part documentary narrated by Richard Gere; shown on PBS but you can find it on YouTube.

(A self-taught artist, my proportions are always wrong; and because of my lazy-eye, everything I see is 2 degrees 'off' so I'm never centered.  That's true with my photography, too.  It all looks straight to me, but if everything seems a bit cockeyed, that's why.)

By the time I finished she looked like this (yes, it's supposed to be a 'she' - the young girl who offered Siddharta a bowl of rice when he was starving.

Here's the start of Pastor Chad, memorialized on a wall in Hope Village, the tiny-house community for the chronically homeless which he founded and ran...until being eventually tossed out by his own Board of Directors following an unfounded accusation from an LGBTQ person who felt slighted.  This was right after I moved from Eagle Point in 2022.

In a nutshell, Pastor Chad was accused of not being sympathetic to the Trans-community.  From what I witnessed over the course of 4 years, the worst I could imagine him advising would be, "Be certain before you do anything irreversible."  OMG!  He was eventually exonerated but the damage was done.  Funding dried up and grants were cancelled.

Pastor Chad has re-invented his philanthropic efforts and now focuses on helping a particularly poignant segment of the homeless population:  the elderly.

I'm happy for him but angry that had to happen to such a kind-hearted man.  Perhaps down the road it'll become apparent that he HAD to go through that in order for him to help those he's helping now.

Please don't slam my opinions.  I'm tired of being told that everything I've known is now insensitive, unacceptable or just plain wrong.

I went into the Post Office and saw someone new behind the counter.  Our old Post Master recently retired so I wanted to offer a Welcome; but I blurted out, "So, you're the new guy," before I could see that whatever it was, it had shorn hair, plucked eyebrows, pierced earrings and nondescript clothing.  I desperately looked for clues as to whether this individual was born male or female while fumbling for an apology.

"I'm sorry - I hate being called a 'guy,' too."  The more I spoke the worse I made things, but to (their) credit there was no chastisement.  I suppose everything should be said using 'Person,' but...

Goddammit!  I'm sick of not being sure - it was bad enough when I couldn't tell the difference between babies, but now with adults?  I used to look for an Adam's Apple-clue, but that can be either removed or covered.  Still, I'll try my best.

[This was to be a gift for Elizabeth Pitcairn, owner of the famed Red Violin.  She may not have been flattered by my final result (below), but it was surely better than this version.] 

A glutton for punishment, I continue to struggle with my paintings to this day.  No need to provide examples...they're pretty similar to what you see here.  At least I can honestly say not true to people who claim they have no artistic abilities for whatever reason.

If you really want to do something you can learn; all you need is Practice, Practice, Practice!

Lest you think these are the best things I've done, here's a link to my website with photos:  www.andreajansendesigns.com

So I'll keep persisting - in my artwork and in life.  Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Let's Hope for Civility

Nikki Haley was gracious as she bowed out of the Presidential race this morning; particularly considering how her rival rudely announced her donors were not welcome in the MAGA movement, you know who I'm talking about.  I haven't yet heard, but I'm sure (he) will be nasty towards Nikki, while sucking up to her supporters for some cold, hard cash for legal bills.

I've never been a fan of Sen. Kyrsten Sinema; she was annoying in her opposition to something or other; but I'm sorry to hear she's leaving Congress.  Just another decent politician sick of what Capitol Hill has become.  The same goes for Mitt Romney and Mitch McConnell, plus those who lost their reelection bids.  We may not miss their views, but we'll certainly miss their civility.

Name-calling is so low, it's truly embarassing to hear it from someone bucking for the highest position in the nation.  What would you tell your child or grandchild if they came home crying after being a target of such rude behavior?  Gesu bambino!

As for the Incumbent:  beware shouts of, "He's Too Old!"  I don't know about you, but I'd prefer a 'seasoned' surgeon tackling my ticker over an over-eager Intern any day.  Old People have been belittled in American society for generations, compared to other cultures, you know it's true.  Boomers are being discounted more and more, so it's only a matter of time before our rights are reversed or significantly cut.  Handicap Parking will be the first to go, they want those spaces.

When, exactly, IS too old?  I've seen 90-year-olds sharper and in better physical condition than 50-year olds, so who has the right to arbitrarily assign Infirmity an age?

Tomorrow will be President Biden's final State of the Union speech before November's election.  I hate to think of the boo's and cat-calls from younger members on the right or left, you know who I mean.  Emboldened by Super Tuesday's results, will they deride their 'elders' who, maintaining respect at least for the Institution, try to shush them?

It's going to be a long 8 months.  If we all practice Civility despite our differences, perhaps our leaders will be shamed into following suit.  Everybody's heard, "Take the High Road", and promises to bring the country together.  Now's the time to practice what we preach.

It's Heading Your Way

We generally have some precipitation here on the Oregon Coast, with temps averaging nowadays in the 40s and 50s.  As the expression goes,

"Oregonians Don't Tan --- We Rust"

Following rain-and-wind storms for the past 4 days, I expected things to lighten up, but no.  Here's a shot from this morning.  Luckily, I only have to walk as far as the building to get to work.

Stay safe, everyone!

Pissed about Michigan Politics

I'm trying to be more compassionate of the killings in the Gaza Strip, but then something happens over here to derail that.  Friends and strangers alike may be shocked or disappointed in my views, but as long as I'm not spewing hate-speech, I am still entitled to express an unpopular POV.

I'm angry with the Muslim population in Michigan who successfully advocated voting 'uncommitted' in yesterday's Democratic primary.  They're upset we're supporting Israel and haven't stopped the war.  From what I've gathered, Presdient Biden is walking a fine line, hoping not to push Netanyahu over the edge by threatening too hard for a permanent cease-fire; while supporting  Israel AND  Palestine with two-state proposals and financial aid.  I don't know why people think any President is God, able to wave his hand and make everything better.

They're threatening to either not vote for President Biden, or vote for the other guy who's promising another Muslim ban, go figure.  Either way it's at the expense of the rest of the Democrats in the other 49 states.  Indeed, because over 100,000 cast Uncommitted, organizers elsewhere are encouraged.  If they throw the election, they'd better not complain when they're targeted, that's all I can say. I know, that wasn't very nice; but can you say, without a shadow of a doubt, that'll never happen?

I'll admit, I'm more intimidated by Palestinian demonstrators wrapped in their scarves, faces hidden, than pro-Israeli supporters. What are they about to do that they feel the need to cover up like terrorists?  Maybe it's the way news videos are edited. 

But my bias began earlier.  You saw the same campus From the River to the Sea bullshit as I did.  That doesn't sound like people trying to get along to me.  Closer to home, I watched Palestinian  demonstrators block traffic on the Portland airport exit around Christmastime.  They didn't care who was inconvenienced; they wanted to make their point and to hell with the rest of us.  Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindis, Buddhists and others, simply trying to catch a flight to enjoy loved ones.  Seems to me if the demonstrators wanted to make a point they could have gone to the Capital in Salem, or the Portland Major's office.  It happened elsewhere as well, but what did they accomplish except to piss-off people who hadn't been particularly pissed before?

We don't have a huge Palestinian population in Portland...about 4%, so I questioned the underlying motives of many of the demonstrators, who I suspect were actually 'outsiders' intent on causing trouble.  I could be wrong.

I also question why so many Palestinians are in Michigan anyway, the climate's certainly not the draw. Were they recently fleeing poverty and persecution in Gaza and the West Bank, just as those attempting to cross the southern border?  Or have their families been here a long time, like my own immigrant grandparents?  Kinda biting-the-hand, dontcha think?

What if we ALL protested and demanded that injustices against our forefathers be redressed?  Going back how far?  The way we're all mixed up, and I mean that in the nicest way, no one would be exempt.

Now lest you think I'm a total racist, I do happen to feel that Netanyahu could have done things a bit differently to prevent such high casualties.  But since I didn't experience 9/11 like most of you here in the States (I lived on a boat in Puerto Rico), I can't really empathsize with the range of emotions which that disaster provoked.  I suspect it's what the Israelis feel now; except they're also waiting for the return of hostages, while we only had to dig out the dead.

Then we went to war in Iraq, our country's anger lashing out. Looking for non-existent weapons of mass destruction, tearing up the country, isn't that what happened?  Did other countries try to tell us not to go down that road, but we were determined to exact revenge?  Was that right or wrong?

I would like to pose a hypothetical for you:  If some other minority population...let's say Somalians...or Uyghurs...or Swedes...suddenly threatened to throw the election if they didn't get what they wanted, what would you say?  It's the threatening I object to more than the reason behind it.

I am neither Jewish nor Muslim...just a sideliner; but my sentiments are likely shared by others (not necessarily for the same reasons).  So my purpose for this post is to share my reasoning a bit, to help people on the other side of the fence understand why people like me feel the way (we) do.  Rightly or wrongly.

Dumbing Down America

I can't get excited about the recent, lopsided 'Lunar Landing,' having witnessed Apollo 11 in  B&W; hopping along with Neil Armstrong to his immortal words,

"That's one small step for (a) man; one giant leap for mankind." No one heard the 'a'.

If you'd told anyone in 1969 that after three short years of gripping adventures, Apollo 17  would be the last time we saw craters up close and personal (the operative word) for 50 years, everyone would have laughed.  Now we're rushing to set up a station on the surface before the bad guys do - how long do you think that will take? Note:  if you don't believe the first landing took place, then this is all moot.

We're wetting our pants over the unexpected news that Russia is working hard and fast on a nuclear anti-sattelite weapon, shame on Congressman Mike Turner for shooting his mouth off and causing even a LITTLE hysteria.  He's obviously been studying the likes of WikiLeak's Julian Assange; Airman Jack Teixeira; and Reality Winner (no 'a' missing) who apparently wanted to live up to her birth name.  I don't believe these people are divulging highly classified material because they genuinely care about our nation - it's for the Likes.  Would they feel differently if their own child serving in the military was in danger, or would their altruism win out?  Bah, humbug.

Switching a bit:  Any comparison of Trump and Navalny is just plain insulting:  to Alexy, his wife and family, Russian activists, and to those of us who cherish democracy.  Russia, or rather Vladimir Putin, will never allow Alexey Navalny's body be released for burial.  If he's criminalizing displays of random public memorials, do you think he'll allow a funeral anywhere in the USSR, let's call it what it is, again.  Putin's aim is to remove all traces of Navalvy; just as extremists here wish to erase memories of slavery and deny the Holocaust.  Vlad doesn't want to create a Soviet Mecca, so my belief is he'll quick-burn the body, then mysteriously lose the ashes.  Guess I got that wrong.

Next:  The FBI Informant in the news nowadays: the one Jim Jordan and his cronies have been touting to prove without a shadow of a doubt that Joe Biden is a crook.  Isn't it amazing to see the Exorcist-like spinning-heads now claiming the informant's info wasn't that important after all?   How DUMB do they think we are?  How can they face themselves in the mirror, lying to us like that?  I'm dumbfounded but not surprised:  they need to maintain any smudge on Biden's character to justify their fatally flawed front-runner, who can never rid himself of his smut, not that he cares.

Shift:  China's sending us Pandas again.  Didn't they recently take some back from the National Zoo because, in part, they're peeved?  I love the diplomacy:  they give us Pandas; we give them Manhattan.  Talk about lopsided.

- We're two years into the Ukranian war, not an anniversary to celebrate.  Remember how supportive everyone was in the beginning, waving blue and yellow, welcoming refugees?    Putin wasn't the only one who knew we'd grow tired of the war, since it's not ending quickly enough; and that's what's important in today's society.  But I must ask:  with all our advanced, time-saving innovations, why are 24 hours no longer enough time in a day to accomplish what past generations have with far fewer aids?

- Two years ago I warned a close gal-pal (a one-time Trump supporter) that following the reversal of Roe v. Wade (which we both were disheartened to hear), we'd eventually see the end of same-sex marriage.  She was horrified to imagine how that might affect her dear friends, a same-sex couple,

"Do you really think so?"

Of course, it's only a matter of time.  We're watching it already:

Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee signed a new law (Feb 21) that will allow public officials in the state to refuse to perform marriages if doing so goes against their beliefs. (Source)

Then they shouldn't be a PUBLIC official, duh.  If this continues, I predict an eventual criminalization of homosexuality, sounds incredulous, I know.  (This law won't be restricted to same-sex marriages but also interracial, watch.)  Also from 2 years ago, I'll repeat my warnings about increasing Christian Nationalism following my own encounters here along the Oregon Coast:

"How dumb have we all become?  The latest, scariest thing I've heard is that Christians are working tirelessly to take over the country.  That would sound like a Conspiracy Theory to me if I wasn't surrounded by such Christians, all who feel they need to 'help me' find Christ, Jesus, God; their vernacular changes with the day.

"When rudely, bluntly asked, "Are you a Christian?" I've replied I'm a Christian Scientist.  Responses are identical:  "Oh, that's OK," even though they know nothing about the religion."

I'm sure people thought I was exaggerating, since my depiction seemed far-fetched and they themselves had never been asked.  I share those encounters with others because I still can't believe the gall of these hypocrites.  Two Workampers, who confided to me they are Jewish, described similar, uncomfortable questioning.  I can't remember how they answered, but they keep their Stars of David hidden inside their shirts.  Tell me that's ok.

Well, whaddaya think now, after hearing the Rath of God reason the Alabama Supreme Court Justice ruled that embroys are children.  Thank God many of the issues being reversed no longer pertain to me.  I could care less about In Vitro Fertilization; but I do have a vote, and care about fellow citizens OF ANY SEX who are desperate to have children, talk about cruel.

- I'll vote for the man again, but I cringe every time President Biden attempts to relate to supporters with swear words which sound out-of-place with his apparent Statesman-like character.  It reminds me of when, attempting to 'bond' with her daughters, Mom said a nasty word; except she didn't know how to use it in the correct context, so after a moment of shock, Hillary and I burst out laughing.  Thank goodness Mom gave up trying that tack.

- Taking into account Donald Trump's efforts to avoid paying a dime in restitution to anyone, I searched for an appropriate fabled character for comparison.  King Midas first came to mind, but eventually his curse (love of gold) was reversed and he became a benevolent king to his people.  Next was miserly Scrooge, squirreling away every penny, yet ultimately redeemed on Christmas Eve.

But I doubt Donald Trump would make such a transformation, not even if he lost something, or someone, extremely dear to his heart.  There's no redemption coming from that house - please don't give him the White House.  Nikki Haley has many good qualities.  You don't need to agree 100% with anyone; but at least she won't claim Black people like her because she's got her own mug-shot.  Talk about insulting.

If DJT is elected again, I forsee future disaster-related relief speedily dispersed to Republican-led states; while he'll drag his feet helping Democratic-led states like here in Oregon, you know I'm right.  He doesn't care that citizens of both parties reside in each state, for sycophantic-puppets in 50 state capitals is his goal.  Look at the takeover he's trying with the RNC.  Thank goodness there are at least some in Congress trying to curtail the RNC's bill-paying in his favor, 'bout time.  Shame on him, stealing money from people struggling to pay their own bills, who're betting he'll lead them to the Promised Land.  You're more likely to win a lottery.

And finally, talk about dumbing-down:  with all the murders on college campuses, not to mention shootings at every level of education, people will stop sending their kids to school, can't blame 'em.  So unless parents are at-home or have instilled a healthy dose of discipline in their offspring, how much do you imagine they'll learn?  As it is, fewer and fewer people are willing to go to work, so in time our Divided States of America will belong to someone else.  But that's alright - let's deny promised aid to our friends.  They'll value our lives as highly as we do theirs.